The Odd Children

Cooking Thanksgiving Dinner

2009-11-26T19:43:00.000-08:00

Having spent a large amount of time and energy dedicated to ensuring I do not become a housewife in any sense of the word, I found it a bit odd that I spent this morning cooking and baking Thanksgiving dinner with my boyfriend's mother. I am most certainly not converted to the Stepford Wife-esque notion that a woman's true happiness lies in housework and that they just need to relax and let what comes "natural" happen. However, I did enjoy cooking. And I think it may be because it was on my own terms. I wasn't making dinner because anyone: society, boyfriend or family, expected me to, but because I wanted to eat the food I wanted to eat so I was going to make it. And I enjoy cooking without expectations. And when you're of the opinion of fuck-it-all I don't care if anyone else likes it, it usually ends up pretty good. And a lot less stressful.

Seasonal Affective Depression Fuck the Dark all the Time Disorder

2009-11-17T18:06:00.000-08:00

This winter thing is seriously getting to me. I went tanning today and it seriously helped. Seriously, I want to spend the winter in a tanning bed. Just hibernate. It would be perfect, you'd sleep all winter long in a warm cozy place and then wake up all tan and ready to hit the beach. And you'd be all "beach body-ed" because you hadn't eaten anything all winter long since you were in a tanning bed. All. Winter. Long. On second thought, hibernating in a tanning bed might be a bit odd. And an enormous waste of energy. Nevertheless, I need to make a conscious effort to tan more regularly or else I'll end up sitting in my living room typing "All work and no play make Jack a dull boy" over and over again.
And work isn't really helping. There's nothing particularly wrong with work, it's just that working in data processing department isn't exactly fulfilling. And then people aren't capable of doing their jobs. But they're nice and good people. And I don't want to get them in trouble. But I also don't really feel like doing their job AND my job. So I have to tell them or my supervisor that they're not doing what they should be doing (which is making my job much more difficult than it should be) and then I feel like a jerk. It's such a problem. I want everyone to be gainfully employed but sometimes I wish certain people would just magically go away (ie get fired or quit, but in a happy way) so that the department would function better. And then I feel guilty for having such evil thoughts.
Today I watched Eddie Izzard (who btw is coming to a town near me!!!) and it made me happy. I have such a crush on him. Maybe that's what I need to get through the winter. Alternate watching Eddie Izzard with baking in a tanning bed. I will come out hilarious and tan. Wonderful.

I must be growing conservative in my old age...I'm standing up Ann Coulter (sort-of)

2009-11-04T17:13:00.000-08:00

Today while facebook-ing around I came across this little gem:

Generally I'm of the "Live Liberal or Die" motto (lame attempt at New Hampshire humor) but this is obnoxious. Sure not all liberals are feminists, or even not misogynists, but this has issues beyond the whole obvious don't insult her looks because that's sexists problem. It's attacking her on a personal level for her political beliefs. Sure Ann Coulter's career is based on her political beliefs and as such it is fair to do some criticism on the more personal level. For example, if Ann Coulter suddenly decided she loves The Gays and started going to a welcoming church and donating to HRC but continued to argue against gay marriage then it would be okay to question why she chose to affiliate herself with a church that was for marriage equality. However, how her breasts are at all relevant to her political views is beyond me. By attacking her appearance (M-Ann) we are equating her image with the relevance of her beliefs. If a super hot (in the sociatal standard of hottness) woman came along espousing eugenics would we all of a sudden take up the cause? Sure appearance has an (often tremendous) impact on how we are treated/believed/viewed but when it comes to a true debate using appearance as a mode of attack is stupid. It takes away your validity. There are more problems with this but now I'm tired. Maybe I'll write more in awhile. I'm going to go watch trashy tv.

Run

2009-07-20T19:23:00.000-07:00

Today I ran 2.75 miles. I walked .25 miles after 1.75 and then ran the last mile.
I'm doing a marathon in October and the goal is to be up to 50 miles week by then.

careers

2009-04-29T17:48:00.001-07:00

Some people buy cars, or expensive crap, but I would really like to treat myself to a completely useless masters in gender studies. And on that note...here is a list of all of the careers I have seriously considered.
-Office type jobs: secretary, receptionist, lawyer, advertising exec, paralegal, manager (of various sorts...this was a more fleeting idea than others)
-Business owner type jobs: coffee shop, bookstore, hostel,
-Hippy type jobs: server, author, journalist, tuba player, sex worker, barista, activist, online comic artist, artist, blogger, self-sustained hippie person (i.e. farmer type)
-All others: teacher, professor, border guard, airline stewardess, nurse (that was brief also), realtor, politician, museum curator/other museum position

When I look at these and realize that I still want to be a majority of them, I wonder if I will ever really find a career because I'll be to busy trying to decide. Ugh. Maybe I can be cloned...or live a really long life.

Unicorns

2009-04-23T20:48:00.001-07:00

I tend to complain a lot about jobs. Not having the one I want, not finding the one I want, hating the one I have, not knowing which one I want. I could have the best job in the world and I would complain about it. So, I was driving David home from the airport, complaining about my job, when we passed an office complex called Unicorn Park which prompted me to say I wished I worked there. To which David replied that even if I worked there with real unicorns I would still come home come home complaining that this unicorn didn't like me and that unicorn was annoying. Now every time someone at work annoys me I imagine them being unicorns and it makes me laugh (but, unfortunately, not less annoyed).
Consequently, when I saw a giant stuffed unicorn (including pink glitter hooves) at the grocery store today I bought it for David. It also doubles as a girlfriend for Garfunkel who has been staring at it since I got it.

Marathon

2009-04-07T09:42:00.000-07:00

It's been my goal to run a marathon for about six years now. Last weekend I realized it might actually be a possibility. I ran my first 10k, which at 6.2 miles is significantly shorter than a 26.2 mile marathon. However, somehow being able to run the entire distance made me realize that I just might be capable of running a marathon if I actually tried. In the much more immediate future, I now have hope that I might be able to actually complete the Mount Washington Road Race.
The Mt. Washington RR forum is full of people who have done marathons and have been training for months etc etc. Essentially they are serious runners. And then there's me. I've had a few attempts at starting to run again, but like a failing engine they've puttered out and stopped. I'm at least 40 pounds overweight and a good 70 pounds heavier than the last time I was seriously running. Not that it is impossible to run when you're heavier, but imagine carrying around that much extra weight. Nevertheless, I work on top of a giant hill. It's a half mile steep incline and then another quarter or so mile uphill after that. And then there's plenty of back roads nearby that are hilly and good for getting some distance in. It really is ideal...plus if I run after work then there's hardly any traffic jams by the time I drive home.
So, I will start running again. And hopefully this time it might stick.

Internet Stalking

2009-03-18T19:37:00.000-07:00

I've been really into online stalking people recently. I blame my job...and the strange interests in people long gone that randomly pop up in my dreams. Anyways, so it's strange to look at people's facebook profiles (which are really just projections of how they want themselves to appear) who I haven't had any real contact with in more than a few years. I want to project their four, five, six year ago personalities on them and think they haven't changed and am then so confused when they have. Probably more so since I was a completely different person then and had a higher tolerance for pretentious idiots...and republicans. Facebook, and the other excellent internet stalking sites, are ridiculously wonderful. If they didn't exist I would be constant limbo wondering what happened to this and that person, when now all I have to do is "friend" them and I can find all of their pertinent information: relationship status (which is after all how we judge a person's worth...), jobs, location, interests. Which is precisely why, and yes I know it's hypocritical, I refuse to put my relationship status, any real job information or interests. God, I must be annoying to the other people like me out there.

on a different note

2008-12-29T17:17:00.001-08:00

My temp job is making me want to shoot myself in the face. Ugh.

eyebrows

2008-12-29T17:03:00.000-08:00

I could wax nostalgic about the things I've done this past year or I could tell humorous and/or touching stories about the recent "holidays." However, let's be real. I haven't really done very much this past year and my Christmas wasn't all that eventful or interesting. Consequently I will discuss the important and intriguing subject of my eyebrows. Oprah has played an important part in all people's lives. She is, after all, the queen of the universe. She influenced the important part of my life known as my eyebrows. I watched a show in the 90's that gave step by step instructions on how to pluck and shape your eyebrows. I followed it exactly and haven't changed the shape since. Until the momentous occasion of tonight. I made my eyebrows different. The change is so momentous David couldn't tell which eyebrow I had done when I asked him if it looked okay. I am ready for the new year. With these new eyebrows I will conquer the world. I will run every day. I will cook every meal. I will go to school. I will get a real job. I will write daily. I will become a superhero. All because of my eyebrows.

It snowed...

2008-12-23T19:48:00.000-08:00

And snowed and snowed... Basically it snowed a lot last weekend. So much so that I didn't go to work at the restaurant even though I was scheduled both days. I didn't go to work because
a. my car was under two feet of snow and I didn't want to dig it out
b. I need new tires and it's never a good idea to drive in the snow with tires that have no tread
c. I wouldn't have made any money
d. while I love my corporate restaurant, I don't love it enough to die for it
e. my manager called and asked if I wanted the day off...and it's really hard to say no to a day off when you're inside being all warm

So. On my two days off in a row I did many things. I baked cookies which required over three hours of grinding almonds into almond floor. I bought this really cool cheese grater that doubles as a nut grater from William Sonoma (which is my favorite store ever even if I can't ever remember if William has an s at the end or not) and it ended up actually working semi-well. Well, better than last years cheese grater that broke when I tried to grind nuts in it.
On Saturday I also did laundry and was able to put it all up which is unusual. Usually it all sits around the house until I either wear the clean clothes or David decides they have sat around the house long enough that they are now dirty. Ironically David hangs his clothes back up after he wears them which may be why he never has any clothes to wash.
Speaking of David...we went sledding. First we went to this park but then there were all these teenagers there and we were scared and felt out of place and tried to leave but then got stuck in the snow and we had to have the teenagers help push us out. Over the course of the weekend David's four wheel drive giant suv got stuck over five times. My car (knock on wood) has not gotten stuck at all this year. It's because my car is awesome with it's Germany engineering. haha. yes it is a volkswagen. Anyways, we did end up going sledding down this hill in our apartment complex and I realized that sledding is like going to the water park except it's free. And tonight we go to Virginia.

Updates

2008-12-09T17:36:00.000-08:00

David and I moved all of our belongings down these stairs. It was intense and only took us about 5 hours longer than we anticipated.
Now we live in Nashua which is much nicer, even though we yet again have a crazy neighbor. We always have crazy, though generally harmless, neighbors. Our last crazy neighbor had two large dogs in a one bedroom apartment in the middle of a city. They always peed on the stairs and barked at odd hours of the night. They annoyed me and I have a dog. Also, he had a girlfriend that he would always be either fighting with or having sex with, and generally it would be at say four or five in the morning...and it was really loud, both the arguing and the sex. Then, he had this alarm that went off at 11:30 every night for three weeks and he wasn't ever home when it went off so it would go off for an hour or more. Needless to say I'm happy to be out of there.

In other news, in addition to my position of server extraordinaire I have now procured the position of "temp," a position glorified and given its much deserved props by the character Ryan in "The Office" and this Onion article. It is fascinating. The first week I had to keep myself from laughing because it really is so much like a satire of meaningless cubicle existence...but it's real. In a way it's like calling Idaho: sure you've been told people live there but you don't really expect anyone to be there. It's like Bizarro World (see witty reference to Sealab 2021 that I can't really seem to think of except they had a show where everything was Bizarro World.) And now I must go to bed because I don't think I'm making sense anymore.

Garfunkel is no longer under house arrest

2008-09-17T08:04:00.000-07:00

And it only took animal control ten extra days to bring the paper thing. They were suppose to bring it by a on the 8th of September but they didn't bring it by until today...and only after I called them every day and called their supervisor twice. This is a perfect example of why I'm moving out of Lowell: everyone here is incompetent.
And here is a picture of my vicious jerk dog:

Labor Day

2008-09-01T20:19:00.000-07:00

Today is labor day and I worked a double straight through without a break. For those of you not familiar with server lingo, that means I worked 11 hours serving straight with no break. That's eleven hours of being on your feet running around trying to get change for one table, bring another table drinks and getting the kitchen to make your food correctly all at the same time. Anyways, I just thought it was funny that I labored so much on Labor Day.

The Script

2008-08-31T17:13:00.000-07:00

As many of you working in the so called "service industry" are aware, servers have a script they tend to follow. This script is formulated out of having to great and explain the same things over and over again to tables and the way corporate restaurants have stream lined everything and often require that servers suggest x beverage or y appetizer. Having worked primarily in corporate restaurants I am used to scripting. At most corporate restaurants not offering a particular kind of beverage (alcoholic etc.) or an appetizer is grounds for being "written up" (because working in a corporate restaurant is similar in oh so many ways to being in high school...probably because they are staffed predominately with people whose glory years were those of their teens). Consequently it is worth annoying the guests with pushing alcohol on them. However, you want to avoid being predictably pushy or annoying because that can affect your tip, which is your sole source of income. (That's right all you non-tippers, servers get $2 and change an hour, all of which goes to taxes...in fact I currently still owe taxes on top of that) Here is my current script:
Me: Hello, how is everyone doing today?
Guests: Good, inaudible grumble or ignoring you
Me: Great, great. Well my name is Liz and I'll be taking care of you this evening. Have you been with us before?
The guests now answer yes, no or tell me all about every restaurant in the chain they have ever visited.
Me: Well, great welcome back (or welcome...depending) As you may remember we do complimentary wine samples (that's right old ladies who start vigorously shaking their heads the minute they see a wine bottle...it's complimentary. You don't have to pay for it. You can just say no thanks.) Would anyone like to try [insert wine brand and type here] or any of our other wines.
Guests: yes or no or a long explanation about how they don't drink or are driving or are allergic to alcohol (yes I did get that once)
Now I either let them sample or say: Well, as you probably noticed, we also have a number of both alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks at the bar. There's a full list on the back of your menu. Then, as per company orders, I describe one of them with descriptive words or whatever.

And that is my introduction to Corporate Restaurant guests. It's not that there is anything wrong with having to "suggestively sell" things, but there are times when it really is not appropriate and/or makes little sense to try to sell alcohol. For example, when it's a table of obviously sixteen year olds. There are benefits to stream lining everything, but sometimes it ends up strange.

Also. A disclaimer: I truly do enjoy my job, it's just that it is also easy to criticize and write bad things about...and I like to complain. I'm a complainer.

And a present for those of you reading this...Mr. Hotdog Man ... only related to this post in any way because he is food. He was in front of this hot dog stand in Myrtle Beach near where we were staying.

Ghetto running improves your speed

2008-08-26T18:00:00.001-07:00

Encouraged by my most excellent 3.0 mile run today I decided to start looking for a halloween road race to do. This, naturally, led me to look for a cool Thanksgiving Turkey Trot to do, which led me to be overwhelmed and amazed at all of the race options. It is a decision that I believe must be left to the last minute, which is at a later date.
And here's the update on the running: the last three days I haven't run, or done anything other than sit around and mope and just in general be a whiny bitch. Today, however, I ran and was amazed at how easy it was and was all impressed. Then I realized it was about 20 degrees cooler than it usually is when I run at noon. Also, I was a bit scared running when it was dark in the ghetto area which may have improved my speed a bit. As far as safety goes, I feel it is just as safe to run in the ghetto since there are always police cars around...also it's a major road so it's not like I'm in some invisible part of the ghetto.
Speaking of the ghetto...I've been meaning to post some Lowell pics on my to-be Lowell blog, but haven't gotten around to it. In the meantime here's a typical Lowell picture of a mill.

Nothing.

2008-08-23T13:21:00.000-07:00

Today I am sad for no real reason and haven't run at all. Now I must go to work and hopefully make some money. I need to study more for the LSAT but am having difficulty keeping up the motivation. Also the apartment is a total mess and even attempting to clean it seems futile.

Veganhood transgression...and running

2008-08-22T08:41:00.000-07:00

Today I ran 2.75 miles up through Little Ghetto and onto tree shaded road with beautiful houses. It was delightful. Now I must take a shower and go to Hope's goodbye party.
Yesterday I biked 20 minutes at the gym. I also started a food diary since I can't seem to lose any more weight. I also ate a brownie sundae with real ice cream which breaks my dairy ban, but it was super delicious. I don't see this transgression as any reason to quit my attempt to travel down the road towards veganhood. Veganhood can be accomplished. We'll see.

Today I ran.

2008-08-20T11:31:00.000-07:00

Running update so far:
Monday I ran 1.75 miles, walked .5 miles and ran another .5 miles. What is great is that the only reason I ran the last .5 miles is because I had to go through Little Ghetto to get to a decent place to run and I didn't want to walk through the ghetto for fear of someone stopping me and talking to me. (read: telling me their sob story in an attempt to get money) However, the main part of the run was wonderful: shaded sidewalks in a neighborhood with huge, gorgeous homes. It also had some little hills which is nice because I honestly prefer hills to totally flatness...it keeps it interesting.
Tuesday: I sat on my ass and answered the phone. I also had Indian food which was delicious and kept my citizenship class for an extra half hour which was sooo beneficial.
Today: I ran 2.5 miles without stopping. YAY! It was pretty much all flat though. Tomorrow I must go to the gym. I want to attempt the rowing machine thing but it scares me. It is also right where you walk in in the middle of the room. It is in the most visible spot in the entire gym, so I can't really try to figure it out without looking like a dumb ass.

On another note, I've been doing some LSAT prep, but not as much as I'd like. I need to do 2 hours minimum a day, but the TV is like this big black hole that keeps sucking me in. Must combat the tv and study for the lsat.

And since there's been so much running talk, here's a picture of me after I "ran" (read ran, then walked) a race with my friend Leah who is fabulous for many reasons including the fact that she ran with me the whole race even though she probably could have finished like 10 minutes faster if she hadn't.

Jealous

2008-08-17T23:04:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I get jealous because there are people I went to school with who are out traveling the world and/or in better paying jobs that have some sort of direction whereas I am taking orders at the [insert corporate restaurant name here]. And then I stop to think about it and am happy about where I am and that I have something going on in my life and some moderate direction and freedom. Even if it doesn't look so great on paper, I really enjoy my life right now. Which segues perfectly into: Running!!!
My goal for this week is:
Monday: 2 miles
Tuesday: Walk 1+ miles
Wednesday: 2 miles
Thursday: 2 miles
Friday: gym (elliptical or rowing machine)
Saturday: whatever I have time for: running, gym or nothing
Sunday: 2 miles

And on Sunday I will post to show what actually ended up happening. I've decided 6 days of running is too much for my knees with all the extra weight I'm carrying and all the standing I do at work, so until I lose some more weight I'm going to try to do some other forms of exercise throughout the week.

Running

2008-08-15T07:58:00.001-07:00

I've been trying to run recently. I want to do a real training regiment but recently it's all I can do to get my lazy but up and run at all. Here's what I've done:
Monday: dairy farm, 2 miles
Tuesday: none
Wednesday: none
Thursday: 1 mile, flat and slow
Friday: 1.5-2 miles, mostly flat did 7 repeats up the Boott Mill Hill

Postville, Iowa

2008-07-13T20:11:00.000-07:00

Enough of me whining about the insignificant things in my life. Read this article and the paper it references. It discusses the many, many issues with the ICE raid in Postville, Iowa which, unfortunately, will not make it into the headline news because so many people think that if you're undocumented you're not worth being treated as a human. It's ridiculous. Sorry I'm angry.

A momentous occasion (in my weight loss)

2008-07-11T07:30:00.000-07:00

Today I went running and then to the gym where I did fifteen minutes on the bicycle thing-y for the sole purpose of being able to weigh myself afterwards. I haven't been able to weigh myself on a reliable scale for months now so while I thought I had lost some weight I was still setting myself up for the disappointment of not having lost any. But...GUESS WHAT!!! I am now proud to say I am currently under 200 pounds! (just barely, but still)
A little background on my weight (okay, boring subject sorry): I was always on the thinner side up until I quit running when I gained over 80 pounds in two years, putting me at my greatest weight of 217 pounds. Granted I am 5'8" and have a larger than average frame, but still, I was (and am) overweight. For the past few years I have been half-assedly trying to lose weight unsuccessfully. Recently I started running more and am trying to become vegan. I've been vegetarian since I was nine, but have been a great fan of cheese and all things dairy (except milk and yogurt which both disgust me). I have no self control and therefore decided to cut out dairy entirely rather than just try to cut back. I'm still eating things with dairy in them, but not anything where dairy (such as cheese) is visible or one of the top three ingredients. I feel better and, apparently, have lost weight.
So, to sum it up, running is awesome as is being vegan. More on how it is extremely annoying to explain to people how vegans totally get enough protein and no I am not going to die from lack of nutrition but am probably eating a more nutritionally balanced diet than you, the questioner. :)

SerVile

2008-07-10T20:04:00.000-07:00

I really want to do a zine on working in restaurants, particularly from a server's perspective. Essentially I want to copy the guy who did the Dishwasher zine because I read his book and it was pretty awesome and I wish someone would write about the good, the bad and the funny of being a server. Consequently I decided to do a "test blog" where I try to write something every day just to see if I can stay motivated. I considered making a new blog but servile.blogspot.com was taken by some douchebag who's not even using it, so I decided I really like the title of this blog (it has some pseudo-significance for me) and I like the layout and I don't want to spend forever editing layouts because that is lame. So essentially what I'm trying to say is that I will now be writing about my life on here.
Here's the paper basics of my life:
23 year old "female" (we'll discuss my views on gender later) working as a server in a large corporate restaurant a year after having earned a bachelor's in history from a large public university. Contrary to what many people think I am working in a restaurant (essentially the same job I did while in college) not because I am unable to find a job as a history major but because (let's be realistic) I lack the motivation to do so. I am, however, dating a rather successful Ph.D. candidate so in a world where a women's worth is derived from her significant other, I am doing well. I do, however, lack a career which is how I define my personal self-worth. Last year I moved to a rather ghetto town in New England that is known for it's large number of immigrants. I have recently become more interested in working in immigration. For the time being though the only thing I can commit to is being a server.

Magnet Mania, and other things

2007-11-06T19:25:00.000-08:00

Just a quick post because I realized I haven't updated in over a month. My digital camera is dead and the one I'm using is quite possibly from the 80's...except I don't think they had mass marketed digital cameras then. Anyways, it takes forever to take a picture, download it and put it on the blog, and I can only take 16 pictures at a time which makes the whole process even longer. Hence, there are no pictures...yet. One day I will do a post so full of pictures you'll wish my camera stayed broken.
Recently I have done three very exciting things:
1. I am working on a scarf that I "designed" the pattern for and it makes me very happy because it actually looks okay.
2. I made a Red Sox button for my significant other's sister's fiance, who is a Yankee's fan. (I have a button maker. It is awesome. I hardly ever use it because I'm always afraid to use things I think are too awesome.)
3. I made magnets!!! At my job, the kids I work with paint a lot. It made me jealous, so last night I got out my cheap paint and painted bottle caps. Today I glued magnets to them with Krazy Glue that is stickier than I anticipated. It's still on my hands. Now I have awesome magnets. I love magnets!

Craft Day

2007-09-04T19:55:00.000-07:00

Sunday was our first (hopefully) monthly craft day! Unfortunately, there are no pictures of the glorious making of crafts. Once I get some stuff completed I'll post more...right now I'm just in the middle of a bunch of stuff. Things to look forward to include:
Martini glass potholders
Stones (and other fun things) in my coffee table
Plastic bags made into (ta da!) a bag!
and of course: More Cupcakes (because you just can't get enough)
I'm thinking of putting magnets inside the cupcakes so that they will serve some purpose (other than being awesome, of course), but am not sure how that will look.

Also, I bought thirty cent picture frames that I am attempting to paint and make look pretty. Right now they look pretty heinous, but we'll see.

Cupcakes

2007-08-27T18:01:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, courtesy of Ana, I found a wonderful blog with directions on how to make crocheted cupcakes. They are really cute and I really wanted to make them and was not about to let a little think like not being able to crochet get in my way. My first try failed miserably. Apparently crocheting a flat circle is difficult. My second attempt turned out better although the bottom isn't really what I'd call flat. I tried to follow bittersweet's directions, but not knowing how to crochet or how to read crochet instructions I'm fairly certain I deviated significantly. For one, I stuffed them with a plastic bag (The multitude of useless plastic bags harming the environment is my cause du jour) and crocheted the top onto the bottom rather than sewing two separate pieces. I'm sure there were further deviations, but I really don't know what they were. All in all I managed to make two yesterday. The Jerk, loving all things edible tried to eat one.

I'm from South Carolina, ya'll

2007-08-27T14:42:00.000-07:00

Today when I was taking pictures of yesterday's cupcakes I found this delightful picture stored in my long forgotten camera:It's a picture of a billboard on the way from Clemson, SC (where my mom lives) to Johnston, SC (where my significant other's family lives) and was the highlight of that drive until they covered it up with something less amusing. Be ware the dangers of porn.